Every Step
Every step that you take forward accelerates you towards you future in full force. Sometimes you lose your ground and plummet down. Sometimes you hold your stead and step forward again. Yet, that very step that you take forward constantly ascertains the next and the next.
But the indecisiveness and ambiguity of where that step could lead scares me.
Sometimes I feel like I step forward with a blindfold on because I never know where or what I am stepping into. I think I do, but in truth I don’t.
Sometimes I feel like I am wearing rose-tinted glasses where everything looks glossy ahead of me—like perfect picture in a perfect frame. And then I step into a landmine or quicksand and either everything blows up in my face or I get sucked in this yawning hole where everything goes dark.
Every foremost decision consequently that I seemed to have ever made was/is like a speculation-because however well planned and thought-of it was, it turned out to be something completely unlike what I conjured it to be.
I loved surprises ever since I was a little kid and I still tend to be thrilled about them. Little packages tied in bow-strings and letters in the mail. I always like to imagine what would be there inside as it is a mystery which enthuses me to tear the wrapping paper apart at even a faster rate.
But not in terms of my life. In some way I want to be in control, have a voice. Always. Sometimes the talks of fate & destiny annoy me because the only thing I can do in regards to them is wait and watch. I want to know, and know right now. The whole “have-patience-and-faith..things will- work- out” sequence seems to me like a state of refutation where a person does not want to acknowledge what is happening and instead deems the ‘unknown’. Because things don’t just ‘work’ themselves out unless you want them. You ‘work them out’. It is through the strength of your mind and heart that you can break free from the vortex that moulds it. Every step that you take forward and how you take it decisively chooses your paths ahead of you. You see it really all does depend on that one step—that changes all of the subsequent.
Song For The Moment: Best of All Possible Worlds-Norah Jones
But the indecisiveness and ambiguity of where that step could lead scares me.
Sometimes I feel like I step forward with a blindfold on because I never know where or what I am stepping into. I think I do, but in truth I don’t.
Sometimes I feel like I am wearing rose-tinted glasses where everything looks glossy ahead of me—like perfect picture in a perfect frame. And then I step into a landmine or quicksand and either everything blows up in my face or I get sucked in this yawning hole where everything goes dark.
Every foremost decision consequently that I seemed to have ever made was/is like a speculation-because however well planned and thought-of it was, it turned out to be something completely unlike what I conjured it to be.
I loved surprises ever since I was a little kid and I still tend to be thrilled about them. Little packages tied in bow-strings and letters in the mail. I always like to imagine what would be there inside as it is a mystery which enthuses me to tear the wrapping paper apart at even a faster rate.
But not in terms of my life. In some way I want to be in control, have a voice. Always. Sometimes the talks of fate & destiny annoy me because the only thing I can do in regards to them is wait and watch. I want to know, and know right now. The whole “have-patience-and-faith..things will- work- out” sequence seems to me like a state of refutation where a person does not want to acknowledge what is happening and instead deems the ‘unknown’. Because things don’t just ‘work’ themselves out unless you want them. You ‘work them out’. It is through the strength of your mind and heart that you can break free from the vortex that moulds it. Every step that you take forward and how you take it decisively chooses your paths ahead of you. You see it really all does depend on that one step—that changes all of the subsequent.
Song For The Moment: Best of All Possible Worlds-Norah Jones
8 Comments:
very nicely written.
This is what comes to my mind after reading this, not written by me, kisi shayar ne likha hai.
kyon zindagi ki rah mein majboor ho gaye
itne aaye kareeb sabke, ke bas door ho gaye
8:47 PM
haven't read it yet. just noticed a 'typo' (?) - you lose ground, NOT loose
will read it soon. I need some free time to read your blogs. I don't just hurry through them :-)
8:42 AM
Thank-you Vikram. Aap unn shayaron mein se hai jinki shayariyan sunke humaare zubaan pe koi lavz nahi rehte. =)
----
Thanks so much for the correction Raja. I'm sure it is a error on my part. I corrected it.
Feel free to read the post at your convenience & do post a comment. Always appreciate them! =)
9:47 AM
The life of those who choose life-sciences.
*sigh*
Take heart it'll be another 2 years or so and that'll be that. The decisions will be made- for a while and you'll have certainity for a while :)
10:56 AM
Yea Dee! I certainly hope so!
kisi ne toh kaha tha ki "a big shot is a little shot that keeps shooting". Maybe one day i'll be that "big-little" shot! =D
11:06 AM
1. Very well thought-of post
2. I'm feeling so down now that I want to run away from everything alive. Otherwise I'd appreciate it more - the thing that You ‘work them out. That's true life-ism. But I'm in no mood to embrace it
3. Don't you think it's a bit odd to write "The story and thoughts of the Indian girl in Urbana-Champaign"?
8:45 PM
Thanks again Raja! You're very generous with your praises! =)
--I honestly do believe that you should try your very best( & I'm indicating towards almost all the stratas of life) & then let go,because even if you have even a tiny flicker of doubt-that means you haven't tried enough and there is something in a loophole waiting for you.
--Sabr karo,as Shakespeare said: "There is neither good nor bad,your thoughts make it so".
--Mujhe toh odd nahi laga. Kyu? koi problem hai?
7:10 AM
Why not make it 'An Indian girl'?
9:31 AM
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